just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
