i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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