You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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