There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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