38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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