Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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