Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
