all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
