haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
