I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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