I think my vagina is haunted
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
