The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
