It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
