I wish I could punch you in the face.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
operation have a gay friend backfired
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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