I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
