Your tits are I can't wait for
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
