The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
