do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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