Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
