You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
