remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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