True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize
