How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
NoShamevember. You game?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
