Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
