omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You pole danced in your parka.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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