There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize