On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
