I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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