I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
