He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
