If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
