put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
