Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
