how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Let's paint friendship bongs
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
