The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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