I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Randomize
