she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
