I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
