I need help removing her.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
