i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
