should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
