rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
