you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
