Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
