i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
only if we run a train.
done.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
