How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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