Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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