Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
