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It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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