I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize