Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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