Kiss
Puke
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
