My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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