that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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