Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Ladies don't puke and tell
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
