Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
