I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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