Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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